sizzling

Its been so long since someone had said “I love you”, “I miss you” or called me those loving nicknames. I wonder when I will meet someone who I will feel so right and comfortable with.

When will I meet a guy who looks so good, so right, so perfect no matter what people say nor what happens. Just cannot stop thinking about him, and dream about him night and day, and just smile at the thought of him.

Then somehow, as if fate, we will finally meet face to face and talk a little. Although uncomfortable, it will seem so right, so perfect that silently neither of us will want the conversation to end.

We will chat till the wee hours of the morning till we both sleep with the other on the other end of the phone, and play games only to choose forfeits which involves us meeting again.

After awhile, we will realize something great is happening. Magically, we realize we are actually falling in love. We will not go a day without a call or at least a few SMS-es.

Then one day, we cannot take it anymore. We decided to be a couple. And from then on, we walk through life side-by-side, hand-in-hand. There will be times that our distance may widen and our grips loosen, but never will there be a time that we will let go. Our love will blossom and grow with every step and every heartbeat. People will talk about how lucky we are to be together; envy our strength of love and want what we have.

Lastly, to look at this dream guy of mine every night before I fall deep in my sleep…

Hmm… I told him a few days ago that I am going and if he wants me back, he will have to start from scratch. Its a complex situation I guess. But I have to get away from him if he has changed his behaviour towards me. After constant stabs, I then came to my senses. Yes, it took me that long!

I know he does not want me to go. But I have been waiting for too long. I have done my best and the best he can come up with is that he does not deserve me. Its dumb. Well, now I guess I am really open to new people. It hurts to really go. But I have been through this roller coster ride before and I found someone(him). So I am going to do the same, with my head held up high and my smile at work.

I miss those good old times. Its those times that I treasure and will never forget. Its those times which made me fall for him. Those times are nothing but memories now. I will have to look for better.

So my resolution this year is to find better love, experience, make more friends and do well in my new job. May this guy who once was my lover find happiness too. I am determined to find mine…